I’m guessing you’re reading about me now because you’re worried about your relationship and are considering getting professional help. Maybe you’re feeling lonely and disconnected. Or you and your partner fight about the same thing over and over. Or talking to your partner about your needs and concerns is a struggle where the words keep getting caught in your throat–a blanket of silence, say, atop a bed of worry. Or perhaps you try to say and do everything perfectly, putting tremendous effort into the relationship, yet the critical change you long for is not happening. Maybe you feel that you’re on different pages when it comes to things like how to spend money, parenting decisions, extended family or sexual desire. These aforementioned chronic negative patterns of communication about important issues can make anyone begin to feel hopeless, especially if there has been a significant hurt in the relationship. Days together can be marked by criticism, painful silence or blame. Just coming home, under such a circumstance, can be stressful.
That’s where I come in. I’ll work to bring you back together when you’re disconnected and lonely. I’ll help you get “unstuck” from the constant, repetitive, exhausting battles. I will guide the two of you toward a place where it’s safe to share the important stuff–where it’s safe to just be.
My aim is to reconnect the two of you so that you feel loved and valued by each other. I work with you to learn new ways of communicating that foster connection and bonding, enabling your relationship to withstand difficulties. As a couple you will finally be able to discuss hard topics, such as money, kids, family, without hitting those tense dead ends. Let’s face it, the goal is not to banish disagreement or difference from your relationship; the goal is to strengthen your love connection to the point that those disagreements and differences don’t result in lasting relational pain. Imagine a norm of peace and connection. How incredible would that be?
My road to becoming a couples therapist resulted from working with new parents for the past decade; I came to see how deeply the family rhythms are impacted by the couple relationship. I take a “systems” approach, even when working with individuals, because we are all impacted by our relationships. While it is well known that working with couples feels complicated and difficult for some therapists, I love my work and am committed to my couples. I see faster results when working with couples, and it’s incredible the change and growth that happens when two people turn towards one another.
I have advanced training in emotionally focused therapy (EFT). This is an evidenced-based couples therapy, meaning my approach is informed by what has been shown to be effective in decades of studies on couples therapy. As an emotionally-focused trained couples therapist, I am informed by the latest neuroscience on human behavior and attachment theory (for more on this please ask–I love sharing information on technique and research, but don’t want to put anyone to sleep:). I feel passionately about what I do and am honored to be a part of your relationship journey.
More about me below:
EDUCATION AND TRAINING
I hold two master’s degrees, one in Marriage and Family Therapy and one in Education with an emphasis on Special Education. I have been working with couples and families since 2005. Much of my work centered on parenting and sleep issues. I have extensive experience working with parents who are feeling uncertain, anxious or confused about how to best meet the needs of their children. Helping parents feel grounded and empowered has been tremendously rewarding, but many times this was only one aspect of the whole picture. Seeing a need, I broadened my practice to serve couples wanting to deepen their connection, navigate life stressors–children, work, blended family dynamics and emotional wounds that erode trust. My passion is helping couples feel safely connected, so the most difficult conversations can be had in an environment where both feel valued, heard and seen. Achieving this brings joy to the relationship and enhances their ability to grapple with life transitions and stressors.
I have advanced couples training in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) and Gottman Couples Training. Both these modalities are research based. Gottman’s research helps us understand with an astoundingly high degree of accuracy exactly what factors put relationships in distress. EFT is shown to be highly effective at helping couples not only get out of distress, but to maintain a sense of love and security over time after therapy is completed.
I am also trained in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and Trauma Informed Therapy. These are evidenced based therapeutic skills and approaches that have elements of mindfulness, somatic/body awareness and works to promote change, self-regulation, healing and growth.
Finally, the neuroscience of Attachment Theory underlies these aforementioned therapeutic modalities and significantly informs my conceptualization and work with couples, families and individuals. I am transparent with my clients regarding my treatment planning and ongoing work. If you have further questions about how I work please contact me.
AAMFT: American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
COAMFT: Colorado Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
CCA: Colorado Counseling Association
ICEEFT: The International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy
BCEFT: Boulder Community for Emotionally Focused Therapy
DCEFT: Denver Community for Emotionally Focused Therapy